


colorblind (but i see colors on you)

by withluvsan (lostlovelis)



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fools in Love, How do I tag?, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Unrequited Love, almost, but it happens after, friends to strangers to lovers, i think, im not sure, no beta we die like men, not much, star tear disease, there's a bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:20:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24264979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostlovelis/pseuds/withluvsan
Summary: love is a purple flowerwhich blooms on fool's hearts
Relationships: Choi Jongho & Song Mingi, Choi Jongho/Song Mingi, Choi San/Kim Hongjoong
Kudos: 22





	colorblind (but i see colors on you)

It was always like this.

Mingi would wake up startled in the middle of the night, thinking about the pretty boy on his dreams, tossing and turning before he could sleep a few more hours, but always being sleepy at his morning classes. He would get up at 7 am and leave his room at 7:30 am, still thinking about the man who visited his dreams since he moved from Busan.

A nameless man that came and left every night without a single word.

Gummy smile, chubby cheeks, and soft eyes, Mingi swore himself he had never seen such a beautiful human before. Except he did, a long time ago, before he turned colorblind and lost his memories.

-Well, my boyfriend is a Plastic Arts major. Maybe you could ask for a sketch? And then you can search for him on internet – San suggested, during their study session at Mingi’s apartment. Wooyoung had dumped them to go in a date with his boyfriend and Seonghwa simply didn’t show up, leaving the duo on their own to sail into historical acts and boring concepts of reality, up to their next class.

-Can you ask him for me? – San nodded, happy for finally having an excuse to see his boyfriend draw for God-Knows-How-Long. They kept working on their exercises, questioning each other about their topics and revising their notes.

The noon passed just like that. At some point San gave up on his content and laid on the couch, mumbling something about his teacher being a mean witch with no love on her heart. Mingi chuckled and pulled the boy down, making him fall on the carpet and whine even louder. Right on time, San’s boyfriend called him, saving Mingi from his sulky friend.

-Yunho is coming back tomorrow? – Mingi said nothing, nodding silently as an answer – And are you okay with living with his cousin? – Mingi dropped his pen, frozen on space as his mind ran wild. _What was Yunho’s cousin name?_ , he couldn’t remember. It was like a blank space on his memories, but he was sure that Yunho had told him countless times, yet, he couldn’t remember – I gotta go. Hongjoong is going to eat my head if I don’t arrive home before 8 pm – and then San left, carrying with him all the colors again.

_A name. What was his name?_

Mingi couldn’t remember. It was distant, like a gibberish. He could see Yunho’s lips moving, but he couldn’t hear anything.

_A name._

Eventually, Mingi gave up. Yunho would arrive at the next morning and it would kill Mingi’s question on spot, in the moment he crossed that door with his big puppy smile and gentle arms. If at least Mingi could fall in love with his best friend, if he could tell his friends about being colorblind, but he was too scared to do it. It was too risky, and he didn’t want to lose the few people who had stood by his side since he moved to Seoul.

He packed his stuff and left his bag on his room, ready to take a shower and try to stop his mind for a few minutes. He felt like his brain was about to explode from a headache.

In the next morning, Mingi left before Yunho got home.

He went strictly to his morning classes and spent the noon on San’s apartment with him and Hongjoong, San’s boyfriend. They made a small study session before Hongjoong took out his drawing tablet and asked Mingi about the boy on his dreams.

-I’ve never tried something like this so, please, give me as much details you can – asked the blonde, and Mingi was more than happy to agree.

-He had a small round face and slightly high cheeks. Not too high, but high enough that his eyes would close if he smiled too big. It happened a few times – Hongjoong nodded, motioning for him to keep going – His lips were medium and pouty, like a child. He also had his hair stylized like; I don’t know how to explain. A bowl? A coconut? It also was straight and fell a bit on his eyes. His eyes were like two almonds and it had so much joy in it. He wore specs once. It was cute.

-Did de have some kind of mark? Birthmark? Moles? Anything? – Mingi shook his head, thinking further.

-No, not on his face, but he had a few moles on the left side of his neck – Hongjoong simply nodded, San was silent, watching carefully as his boyfriend’s hand danced above his drawing-tablet with the especial pen. For San, it was fascinating – His nose was slightly rounded, but not too high, almost like Yunho’s, but a bit smaller. His eyebrows weren’t full, but well done, like Seonghwa’s – Mingi remarked, playing with his fingers on his lap. Hongjoong asked for a second, fixing things here and there on his drawing before showing it to Mingi.

-Is it him? – Mingi took the tablet from Hongjoong’s hands, examining the drawing and its delicate lines. It was a bit messy, but he could say it was the boy from his dreams. With the same round eyes and slim smile and the hidden cheeks. It was him.

-It is. Thank you – Mingi bowed briefly, returning the tablet – Can you send it to me? I want to show it to my friend – Hongjoong agreed, watching the younger pack his things and get ready to leave – Thank you very much for your help. I owe you one – San accompanied Mingi to the door, both discussing about cancelling their next study session to go marathon some anime San was into before saying goodbye.

Mingi walked his way home with his earphones on and ignoring Yunho’s messages, knowing that his friend was spamming their chat with emojis and random words to get his attention.

He stopped by the grocery store to buy some candies before moving back to his way, reading Yunho’s messages, but ignoring it promptly. Mingi didn’t mean to ignore Yunho, but he wasn’t on the mood to answer his friend’s questions through the phone right now.

-Song Mingi! – Yunho yelled as soon as Mingi closed the door on his back and rounded his best friend’s body with his long arms. Mingi let out a small giggle and hugged the boy back, hiding his face on the crook of the taller’s neck – Did you miss me? – Mingi pulled the male back, looking at him with a small pout.

-Of course, I did! Are you stupid? We share a bed and you are my best friend, of course I’d missed you! – truth be told, Mingi couldn’t sleep properly because the half-empty bed seemed too big and he felt alone on Yunho’s room. The apartment also was too quiet for his liking and he missed Yunho’s shouting for losing something and the sound of him moving not-so-subtly around the place.

-I am back now, and I brought some company – Mingi nodded and both heard his phone’s ring. Mingi checked the message and looked at Yunho with a smile, waving his phone in front of the elder’s face.

-I have good news! – he chanted, bouncing slightly – San’s boyfriend made a sketch of the boy from my dreams. Now I can show you how he looks like – Mingi then handled his phone to his friend, Hongjoong’s drawing already open on the sketch. Yunho stared at the phone for a few seconds before turning his face to Mingi.

-Are you sure this is the boy from your dreams? – Yunho frowned briefly as Mingi nodded – Mingi, it can’t be. Unless you are colorblind-

-Hyung? – Mingi whipped his head immediately, looking at the boy standing on the corridor. He knew that voice and that face, but he didn’t have a name. _A name_.

-Mingi, this is my cousin, Choi Jongho. Jjong, this is my best friend, Song Mingi – _Jongho._ Mingi wanted to say something, anything, but suddenly he couldn’t remember the boy’s name again. It vanished from his mind like vapor, even if he heard it just a few seconds ago. It was gone. And Mingi was feeling desperate, because he knew he was losing something, something _important._

-I’m sorry. I can’t. I am sorry – he mumbled, taking his phone back from Yunho’s hand and leaving the apartment with shouts being thrown at his back. He didn’t turn around.

Mingi ran through the 5 floors of stairs until he reached the rooftop of their building. The sun was setting slowly, coloring the sky with tones of blue, pink, and purple. Small streaks of orange floating around the few clouds, dancing with the soft blue that was being sucked away quietly. Unhappily, Mingi only could see the shades of grey in front of his eyes. He missed the colors of sunset.

He sat on the border of the roof, letting his legs swing in the air. It was overwhelming sometimes. Mingi thought on his life back in Busan and he knew that something was missing, it had always been missing, like a lost puzzle piece. Every time he forced himself to remember, he ended up with a headache and feeling nauseous. Until he finally gave up on trying and moved on.

-Mingi? – that voice again. Mingi jumped from his place, walking away from the border, and looking at the boy who was wearing black skinny jeans and a plain shirt. _His name_ – Do you know who I am? – his tone was careful, painfully careful.

-I am sorry. I don’t think we’ve ever met before – lies. The nameless man took a step forward, and another, and another, until he was a few meters far from Mingi.

-My name is Jongho. Choi Jongho. We were best friends – Mingi felt his mouth go dry and his heartbeat speed up. He shook his head, swallowing thickly – We were neighbors and used to sleepover at each other’s houses on weekends – Mingi saw the younger’s eyes turn glossy and his voice tremble. It made his chest ache – But you disappeared. You left me without saying a word.

-I am sorry – the cold breeze made them shiver. The sun was gone, and the twilight dragged itself from the corners of the sky, swallowing its light.

-Are you colorblind? – Mingi froze, mouth slightly open in shock and hands sweaty. He had hidden his secret so carefully – Please, be honest with me. I need to know the truth.

-Yes, I am! – he blurted, chewing his bottom lip and staring at his feet – I am colorblind, and I had the Star Tear thing for unrequited love! – Jongho took a step back, a tear threatening to fall, but being quickly wiped away.

-It was true, then – Mingi heard him mumble to himself, but said nothing. Jongho, then, offered him a hand and a blue smile – It’s nice to meet you. I hope we can be friends again – Mingi shook his hand, waiting for a reaction. He wanted to say something, but he couldn’t. _He didn’t remember the boy’s name._


End file.
